Monday

Today, I want to meet my ten-year old self and actually talk to her.

Cold cucumber, warm sweet potato, boiled chicken.

Longing for inspiration.

Happy, in a sleepy way.

Promises.

Sunny day

Today was an altogether relaxing day, full of sunshine and fruit snacks and warm cookies and spying on people with my sister (cos that's what we do best =P) . My siblings spoil me, and I like it. =) =) =) Let's see.. my sister bought me a huge ice-cream with lots and lots of delicious toppings! She also bought me candy haha =P. Who in this world has better siblings than me? That's right - no one! I can even persuade my brother to accompany me while brushing my teeth. =P Ah, that reminds me - electric toothbrushes!

I love walking about outside on sunshiny days like today! I saw this really cute fruit store with wooden barrels and crates of fruits. I also met a wide-eyed little boy who returned my smile. =) Of course, the highlight of the day was running through the university to avoid being seen by a certain someone. That reminded me of the time my sister and I were walking to the restroom in this mall... the passageway was long and silent and had so many turns, so we were nervous, and we clutched each other, giggling a little hysterically. Suddenly, we saw this guy, and both of us screeched loudly and jumped... but the guy looked even more frightened than we did hahahahahyeah... how silly... The funniest things happen when my sister is around

My dreams

One day, in the future, I'll travel to a faraway country. I'll stand in front of the ocean - alone and small - and I'll remain there till sunset, listening to the lullabies that the brooding waves croon and reading the secrets etched into every grain of sand. I'll leave my footprints in the sand and watch the tide erase them. I'll watch the sun dip below the horizon; I'll memorize every color, every shadow, every glimmer of fading light.

Then, the next day, I'll eat strawberry ice-cream in a wine glass while sitting at a French cafe, people-watching. I'll take a canoe ride in Florence while holding a pink parasol over my head. I'll stand on the crown of a mist-covered mountain, and I'll cup my hands over my mouth and holler to all my loved ones. I'll gallop across a flower-dotted meadow on a sleek white stallion. I'll waltz in a Venetian ball beneath a chandelier. I'll learn how to paint with watercolors, how to play the harp, how to read the stars at night.

Then I'll come home.

Just kidding. =P But I really would like to do all those things in my life. I don't want a passionless desk-job, or an expensive sports car, or to watch movies every weekend. I want to be a shepherdess for a day, to comfort a crying child, to waddle barefoot in puddles... I want to feel things, if that makes sense at all. I want to befriend dolphins, to hold a baby panda bear in my arms, to wander through a forest with the people I love. I would llike also... to spend a month in a convent (or whatever it's called) just to think and reflect and pray.

violins and airy voices and symphonies

"Think of me. Think of me fondly when we've said goodbye. Remember me once in a while; please promise me you'll try. When you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free, if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me. We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea, but if you can still remember, stop and think of me. Think of of all the things we've shared and seen, and think about the things we might have been. Think of me, think of me waiting silent and resigned. Imagine me trying too hard to put you from my mind. Recall those days; look back on all those times, think of things we'll never do. There will never be a day when I won't think of you!"

- The Phantom of the Opera



=) When I listen to this song... I feel..... happy , in a sad way. Sad because this song is beautiful, and beautiful things can be painful. It's just like watching the sunset... or seeing a mother kiss her child's cheek... or suddenly catching a glimpse of a full rainbow. Life is so beautiful, especially when you share each day with the people most important to you. =)

I feel so sick.

Three huge cookies and two brownies and a piece of cake in one day make me feel a little bit strange. EEEEeks.

My brother's back from college today! =D

I'm glad that cookies exist. Holding a cookie in my hand makes me happy. Simple things make me me smile like this ----> =D Other causes of my happiness : reflecting during long car trips, looking at pictures of delicious deserts with my sister, creating my own jokes/puns to amuse myself, listening to beautiful music, swinging in the park, laughing with my mother, becoming immersed in good books, drinking water (I love the taste of water!), experiencing moments when I feel God's love all around me, playing the piano, choosing stationery (or stationary...), weaving stories in my mind, people-watching, reading excepts from old diaries (this actually makes me cringe quite a bit... the things that I used to feel/think!), and so much more!

Over the phone, my sister told me she bought a new necklace for me!!! I'll wear it always, just like I wear my current one consistently (it was also bought by her). I grow very attached to things, as well as people I like. It know it's a bad habit to become overly fond of people/things, but... it's hard not to.

I've been having strange dreams lately. I dreamt that I buttered my rice... and didn't want to eat it anymore.

And I shall end this entry with song lyrics =)


Milk and toast and honey make it sunny on a rainy Saturday
Milk and toast and coffee take the stuffiness out of days you hate, you really hate
Slow morning news pass me by
I try not to analize, but didn't he blow my mind this time

- Milk and toast and honey

(Such an upbeat, cheery song, which is why I like it. =P I don't like milk, but toast and honey sound like a wonderful combination right now)






Smile! It's all going to be alright in the end!

When the stars go blue

Dancin' where the stars go blue
Dancin' where the evening fell
Dancin' in your wooden shoes
In a wedding gown

Dancin' out on 7th street
Dancin' through the underground
Dancin' with a marionette
Are you happy now?

Where do you go when you're lonely
Where do you go when you're blue
Where do you go when you're lonely
I'll follow you
When the stars go blue

"Where the stars go blue" - The Corrs






I remember this one cartoon from my childhood... about a little boy searching for his mother. I remember something about a background of stars and moons, and a woman's low voice. Somehow, I get sad when I think about the show. And also, "A Land Before Time"... Little Foot's mother died, didn't she?

Kinda depressing...

I love my mommy cos she's always smiling, and she sings out of tune (like me!), and she laughs over the corniest jokes (like me, again!). hehehe =)

New Blog

It happened to me again... A month of not posting, and the password to my last blogspot is totally erased from my memory! =P It's so terribly hot today, and I feel like taking a vacation to Alaska right now, just to lie on the cold ground watching the seals and polar bears meander past. Polar bears don't eat humans, right? (Just checking) I'm not a summer person; I'd rather curl up in blankets watching a white blizzard then melt under the sun. I can't, can't , can't believe summer is so near! And I'm going to turn sixteen in August! NOOOOOOOOO I'm halfway to thirty-two! I'm suffering a quarter-life crisis right now... it's painful to grow up. I want to return to the days of Archie comic books and mouthfuls of brownies and flower nectar and tricyles and stupid, corny pranks. I want my siblings and I to run around in the garden chasing imaginary foes (plastic bags =P) with our plastic swords, or to play games in the airport while waiting for our baggage. I miss them so much right now... they are the only people who can make me fall to the ground laughing, until my stomach cramps up and my vision blurs. My brother's witty comments and my sister's insightful observations... And of course, I was just the little pet dog bobbing alongside them, laughing, happy, so free of worry or anxiety. Tell me, why do we have to grow up? Why do they have to leave me? This summer is the first where I'll be separated from both of them. Who is going to play with me, to eat chocolate with me while crying over Korean drama, to discuss life with? I love my friends, but my siblings know me so well, and with them, each experience tastes so sweet, so rich...

I'm rambling, so I'd better stop. =) Whoever's reading this right now, know this : your siblings are more precious than you can ever imagine. They are an extension of yourself.

Memories from summer 2004.
- the big coincidence (China Starbucks)
- Ting tong (hahahahah =P yeah....) (I suddenly thought of ping pong, for some reason)
- "Fragile Heart" and "The Closest Thing to Crazy" and other bitter-sweet songs
- street food (Singapore) - don't forget the ice-cream cake!
- CeruleanSky
- videos on Atlatis and castles and panda bears
- watching the children beggars in China, realizing how fortunate I am
- Jierie fainting (a scene from a drama!)
- visitng my old house, sneezing because of the dust
- hours and hours of korean drama with my beloved sister!
- Mission Destroy Blve
- aerobics (hahah =P I hope you're reading this, Jie)
- slice after slice of cold, juicy watermelon
- twilight "talks" with my sister


It's so easy to love, isn't it? So easy, so easy, so easy.

I love the sky and the sunsets and poignant song lyrics and people's smiles and my mother's voice.